I am sitting here again just another Monday night, 

trying to finish the work I wanted but instead I try to find distraction.

Distraction because you are not here,

maybe I am just too naive to believe you.

I am sitting in my room on another Monday night,

working but never finding an end because I try to find you.

Maybe you are the one who's looking for me, 

or I can't be found.

Behind these walls sits someone,

not sure how to call it or if I even want to give it a name.

It's not recognizable.

People say it's normal,

to feel like this sometimes.

Everyone does, they say.

You have never lived like this,

I wish would've end it when I had the chance,

a few years ago.

Now,

it is just pretending to be someone.

Faking a smile and living with it.

I am still the same,

you know.

Remember what you did?

I do.

especially after seeing a part of a movie today,

she got raped, punished and murdered.

Funny, 

isn't it?

Sometimes I believe it would've been better,

if you did the last part not only mentally,
but physically..