Not the one for you

You wanted me to look like you,

she wanted me to look like her, 

they wanted me to look like them.

Baby that's just not me,

find another kind of me to play your tricks on.

No, I am not the one for you.

I stopped listening to you

don't care what they say about me.

I should love not cry over myself.

The looks I got, I was too afraid to be me.

You wanted me to look like you,

she wanted me to look like her, 

they wanted me to look like them.

Baby that's just not me,

find another kind of me to play your tricks on.

No, I am not the one for you.

I know my life needed a change

dancing and flying far away

does it change?

Finding yourself is harder than you believe.

You wanted me to look like you,

she wanted me to look like her, 

they wanted me to look like them.

Baby that's just not me,

find another kind of me to play your tricks on.

No, I am not the one for you.

I am what I am and 

start to love it again.

confused by how to act..

do I actually know how to say what I want or am I pretending to do it just to not get hurt? I know I won't get hurt but we would get hurt in the end and it doesn't make it easier at all, I am aware of that. Do I understand it? No. How could I? I mean, we try to be what we are, right, I'm good with that and with anything else. But I don't understand why we can't just try for once,.. and with try I don't mean to run around telling everyone more than trying together and let it just go wherever it might go..
You tell me to be friends which I'm fine with, telling me we are best friends, yes for sure. But don't pretend to be something else in front of everyone. What do you tell people if they ask who I am? I want to know but again I don't because I am afraid what I would hear.
I love how it was, the start, now it's exhausting and frustrating at times and I really don't know how to handle this because I never had this before as dumb and naive that may sound. With 'this' I don't even know what to say about since I don't get it. I am used be around guys and having more guy friends but this is different. No matter what it is I am afraid to lose it, I am afraid to lose you and I think you will never understand how much you actually mean to me. I can't say it's love, I think it's more like a piece of me and you understand me in a way no one else does. I can't handle thinking about losing you because that would mean losing a part of me.
I know we will never be more or less than this however I wish I know what it is. Still, I wish we could talk about it and people would stop asking because they don't believe my answer even if it's true.
I wish I could just actually thank you for just being there for me or for listening to my absolute ridiculous stories without feeling awkward or making things awkward because I don't want it to be.
Can I just tell you how thankful I am to have you and that I can count on you no matter what?
Are you still happy to know me or do you just pretend because you think you have to?