I wish I could decide what to feel or how to act sometimes. You know it's just not right or something changed but everyone tries to pretend it's completely fine.
I was the worse of myself back then but I can't say when or why it happened. I just know it did and it's strange how much I never wanted to be in that state but at the same time I know I will be back in it or I am already in it.
Right now, I think I am steady in a different way from how it used to be, at least I try to understand how to handle it.